True Stoner Tales: "The Jonezer"

I gotta tell you all that lately I've been, shall we say, a disciple of one certain deceased Ethiopian emperor. Let's just say that certain circumstances lead one towards the herb; in my case trying to avoid neuro-surgery............

But that's a different tale.

Last week, Ellie, Evan Suzanne and I drove down to the local Six Screener and pulled into the lot for a matinee show. We didn't care for the Soup d'Jour: the heat, the smog, the roar of the engines, the confusion of sun melted into rivers of metal, the news with its long-dead ghosts of murdered little girls traded for filthy lucre- that whole ungodly glare of that summer afternoon at the Dog Day End of the World.

We needed comforting.

The glass bowl was still warm in my pocket, my throat raw; I was now suddenly and quite incontrovertibly baked.

We were joking around. Ellie playfully "complained" that she was so "high"....

At last I'd Had Enough. In high drama mode-- total comic exaggeration- I threw up my hands.

"Women".  I fairly shouted as I opened the car door, in full Nicholsononian exasperation. "You give them 3 tokes of what they fully know is kick ass, high grade marijuana- expensive,  very expensive marijuana I might add- ask for it even- beg you for it.......and then........... they have the unmitigated balls to complain that they are indeed stoned!"

Meanwhile I was stepping out of the car onto the pavement, looking down at my friend Evan's white crosstrainers while playing this thing out.  I stood up inches away and looked him full in sky blue eyes as I cornered my point.

But wait- hold the phone-  this is not my friend Ev at all- not in the slightest bit. White ball cap, buzz cut blond- some guy from the truck I hadn't seen- stepping out of the truck next to us that I assumed was Ev.

Yet I raved on.  Don't know why, I just did.  What the fuck- I didn't care who that man was (this man now vividly, most un Ev-like to the extreme).  I had started this mock tirade, and I was going to finish,  thank you very much-  making this bold statement to whoever might be there, and that's that. 

Whoever he is- we're literally six inches apart now and I'm shouting into that strangers frozen left blue eye.  And I'm on full steam, which can be considerable from time to time.

With the final word 'Stoned!..........' I simply hold that stare like I knew for a fact I'd been talking to him the whole time and Waddya think pal-

For one crystal clear second we stood there between parked cars, eyes locked in surprise, his face frozen, eyebrows arched, mouth agape- as was mine I've no doubt. We were just standing there- some conservative looking young pickup driving white kid and a wierd bald, skinny, wired man old enough to be called Dad standing there.  Time just stopped.  A crow cawed.

The crystal shattered like a shot.  He simply lights up like his soul has seen it coming all along, grins big without the slightest delay- his expression like Mike Meyers in Wayne's World having a cosmic insight.  He chimes in clear as a bell-

"That's a Jonezer"!

Now I didn't  know then, and I don't know now, what "Jonezer" might possibly mean.  Or, even how it's spelled.   But, whatever-  our stare unbroken, now melting into a delighted gaze-  lit up with the startling chaotic genius and brilliance of the Unexpected.  The Joker in the deck-  face up and giddy on a pile of random numbers.

And we knew- or at least I did looking back- for that brief second that life: cannabis, women, movies, pickups, randomness, serendipity, even pain, illness, addiction, death.... everything there is is so pretty fucking alright., basically; It's workable as my buddhist teacher used to say.  Not good versus bad good;  just basic good, even when it's bad.

Life is a disgusting delicacy at worst. 

A very beautiful woman told me that in a dream once, and I still call on her insight when I can.  She was standing by a flowering tree in full over the greenest emerald grass, and She's still there if I can open my eyes and see.

I can have great courage to be myself when I tune into basic good. And I don't have to get stoned to have those feelings- but sometimes it sure helps!

Here's a brief poem I wrote a couple days ago, sort of related I suppose.